How I Perceive Negative Feedback

It's been 2 years since I graduated from the university, and since then I've gotten to taste the life of an adult, especially on how to make a living. I've tried so many things to find a potential job that suits my preferences. It was around July last year did I finally got into the AI industry. I started as a contributor on the project team when I did tasks on several different projects to train LLMs. Starting from April this year, I have been working in a different area, which is the quality control team, where I work as a language auditor who checks the tasks' accomplishment before they are sent to the customers. After so many trials and errors, I think I'm quite passionate about this job. I kinda understand why there is a saying, "Passion is found after you try things, not determined before you try anything."

I couldn't say that my journey in this industry was easy. I started with zero knowledge of what I was doing; what I did was reading, learning, and following the provided instructions. Everything was so grey, vague, and uncertain. Little did I know I would hang on to this industry this long. Numerous ups and downs have greeted me in unexpected ways, dragged me into the black hole of doubt and discouragement. I constantly received feedback on my performances.

Although I have set my mind that feedback only makes me improve and stronger, the fear of losing this job cannot be avoided as a freelance worker. I would say the only way that guarantees you'll be able to work longer is to perform well. I think freelancing is for those who are ready to give the best of themselves. I'm not exaggerating it, but once you slip and you cannot prove that you're able to get up, you'll lose the opportunity to stay. This is why sometimes, as much as I try to positively perceive any feedback, a fear of being off-boarded still haunts me.

I'm not the type who gets personal when it comes to work. I welcome every feedback I receive since it's always constructive. I'm always grateful for this environment at my work. I could say it's risky, but it's fair at the same time. The only problem is how to manage our mindset well. A lot of the time, being self-aware is not enough. We need to be mindful to be able to accept the worst possibilities that may happen to us.

As you may guess. I'm writing not for nothing. It's because I'm currently facing such a situation. I need to get a good grip on my mind to pass this. I want to be mindful enough to pass the difficult situation instead of worrying about the worst thing that has not yet happened. I want to acknowledge those reasonable fears without losing faith in myself. I want to believe that I can overcome this hurdle just like before.

It's not my first time receiving negative feedback and being on the edge of a cliff of losing my job, but every time it happens, I can help but feel a bit worried and discouraged. I need some time to think and reflect on what's happening to gather my power and courage to face it. All choice has consequences, including the path I choose to be a freelancer. As much as it gives me freedom and peace, it's so risky that I need to be always careful at work. I cannot just give half of myself unless I want to be removed from this. Anyway, I believe every job has its weak points, so does mine. Thus, this is solely to remind me that all that happened is part of the consequences of my choice, and I can do nothing but face it and handle it well to survive.

To some of you who experience the same thing, I hope you can pass it well and be able to thrive in the job you're passionate about. See you in another early adults' concerning issues. Cheers!